Thursday, May 29, 2008
Come Closer and I’ll Punch You in the Neck
Posted by Missy W. @ 4:13 AM
The other day I was at the car wash/oil change place by myself since Sy is NOT a fan of the car wash, it’s just way too loud. I had to get my pregnant ass out of the car and go over to the place where they do the oil changes to pay. So I was just cooling my heels while waiting to pay and MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS until one of the guys working on a car looked over and said,
“How much longer you got?”
Me: Oh, I’m fine. I’m in no hurry.
Him: No, how much longer you got? (as he looks at my bulging belly)
Me: Oh! That. Way too long, over 3 more months!
Him: Are you having TWINS?
Me: Ha ha. Um. No. Um. I think I’m just fat. You know, second time around you just get, um, huge and stuff.
I walked away with my head hanging low, my face beat red and swearing fancifully under my breath. Then I did what any self respecting non-multiple gestating person would do, I went home and ate a half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Take that, man who has no idea what seven months pregnant looks like. Are you freaking kidding me, dude?
Then today I took myself to lunch while Sy was at school. I sat by myself with a magazine and ate a half a plate of chili cheese fries, most of my fried zucchini and half a peanut butter and chocolate milkshake (don’t worry, I took the other half home and put it in the freezer).
Seriously. I cannot imagine why anyone would think I’m pregnant with twins. I’m practically wasting away.
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May 29, 2008 @ 9:24 AM
Melani said:
I always thought the absolute worst though were the people who looked at me and said, “You will never make it to your due date—you’ll be early.” Like they could know.
My baby was born a week late.