Thursday, May 29, 2008
Come Closer and I’ll Punch You in the Neck
Posted by Missy W. @ 8:13 AM
The other day I was at the car wash/oil change place by myself since Sy is NOT a fan of the car wash, it’s just way too loud. I had to get my pregnant ass out of the car and go over to the place where they do the oil changes to pay. So I was just cooling my heels while waiting to pay and MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS until one of the guys working on a car looked over and said,
“How much longer you got?”
Me: Oh, I’m fine. I’m in no hurry.
Him: No, how much longer you got? (as he looks at my bulging belly)
Me: Oh! That. Way too long, over 3 more months!
Him: Are you having TWINS?
Me: Ha ha. Um. No. Um. I think I’m just fat. You know, second time around you just get, um, huge and stuff.
I walked away with my head hanging low, my face beat red and swearing fancifully under my breath. Then I did what any self respecting non-multiple gestating person would do, I went home and ate a half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Take that, man who has no idea what seven months pregnant looks like. Are you freaking kidding me, dude?
Then today I took myself to lunch while Sy was at school. I sat by myself with a magazine and ate a half a plate of chili cheese fries, most of my fried zucchini and half a peanut butter and chocolate milkshake (don’t worry, I took the other half home and put it in the freezer).
Seriously. I cannot imagine why anyone would think I’m pregnant with twins. I’m practically wasting away.
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May 29, 2008 @ 1:24 PM
Melani said:
I always thought the absolute worst though were the people who looked at me and said, “You will never make it to your due date--you’ll be early.” Like they could know.
My baby was born a week late.