Wow. Yesterday was So Great!
I took Sy and Baby G to Sy’s dentist appointment. No big deal, right? We brush some teeth, wear some cool sunglasses while they shine the light, get a prize, go home. Not.
I’ll spare you the details, but leave you with this: THEY CLEARED THE ROOM OF OTHER PATIENTS because she was screaming so loudly. If she didn’t do this at every single solitary doctor’s appointment, I would have been horrified. But I’m proud to say I didn’t even break a sweat, even though this was definitely the first time we cleared a room. I’m not saying the behavior doesn’t drive me to drink once in a while, because it does. And the corker? The cork on the wine bottle broke last night.
Don’t worry. I won the cork battle. The dentist battle, not so much.
I hit a car yesterday on the way to preschool. A parked car. That takes some serious skills. Luckily no one was hurt (well, nothing but my ego). So the time I was going to spend finishing up the Busy Bugs review was spent on the phone with the very nice lady from the insurance company. She was a mother of three and understood the sleep deprivation/screaming three year old combo that was working against me when that stationary object presented itself in my path. A parked car? Are you kidding me? I pulled over to leave a note and the only paper I could find was some recycled card that Sy had drawn on for me, so I had to use the back of that. I can just imagine what the owner of the car thought when they saw the dent and opened up a card to only find Sy’s name scrawled in crayons across it (note was on the back). I need to get some serious sleep. If only Baby G would get the memo.
So anyway, speaking of Barbie - Did you know she is turning fifty on Monday? She’s looking pretty good these days, albeit a little plastic-y. Do you think she’s had some work done? I had no idea she dumped Ken back in 2004 for a guy named Blaine! That name only makes me think of Pretty in Pink, “Blaine? Blaine? That’s not a name! That’s a major appliance!” What was Barbara thinking? After 43 years of dating, who dumps a solid guy named Ken for a flaky beach bum named Blaine? This old LA Times article about the break-up had me laughing.
Happy Friday. I’m going to spend some time trying to buff out the side of my car this weekend, what about you?
Seriously. Don’t you think Chris Harrison has the most ridiculous job? Hang out with a bunch of drunk men and women is overly pretentious locales, bring heaps of leftover roses home to his wife, week-long boondoggles to faraway lands. Sometimes I think I am in the wrong line of work. I definitely feel that way when a child of mine is throwing up all over me, which probably happens to me as often as it does to Chris, come to think of it.
Ok. Wow. Did Jason just throw Melissa under the bus or what? Nothing like getting totally dissed in front of oh, ten million people. Smooth operator, Mr. Mesnick. I love how Chris has to really drive the nails in - so let’s clarify to the audience, Jason. You are breaking up with one chick on national television to go for the next one, right? Oh and by the way, babe, we have a limo idling out in front. Hit the bricks. Classy.
Fast forward to Molly. I love how she just kept looking over at Chris, like, um. Is he for real? Is this for real? I guess he was thinking - Hey, don’t ask, don’t get! Don’t like the one I picked, why not backtrack a little? Lucky shmuck. He found a woman who likes to golf just as much as he does.
Yeah. I have nothing reviewed today. Nothing, I tell you.
What have I got? I’ve got a preschooler with asthma attacks (damn dog allergy) and a baby with major constipation (damn mother of his gave him mashed up banana). I feel like a rookie, as I completely forgot what to do for him. We tried some prunes today; he laughed and spit them out (smart baby). It’s getting to the point where I fear leaving the house because I just know that’s when the volcano will blow. Apparently bananas are now on the “no thank you” list for him…
I was so busy being a mother this weekend that I reviewed nothing. But we did play with some cool toys. Some reviews coming this week:
Discovery Toys “Busy Bugs,” Automoblox, Sy’s weird bathing suit color-changing Barbie whom she only refers to as Paige, and most importantly, my thoughts on the Bachelor finale WHICH IS TONIGHT. WOOHOO!
Alright. I’m going to go look for more pureed prunes in the cabinet. Happy Monday!
Do you remember the days of the week in elementary school? Monday Marriage Day, Tuesday Toe-Day, Wednesday Wedding Day, Thursday (What the hell was Thursday? Throw Up Day? What does that even mean?), and Friday Flip-Up Day. I spent more Tuesday recesses walking around on my heels. Throw Up Day? What did we do? Try to make each other gross out and puke at snack?
Speaking of sophomoric activity…Did you watch the Bachelor last night? I should just change the name of my blog to BachelorHead Mom. I do, in fact, find it pathetic how disappointed I am that this season is almost over. Do you think I should get out more? I’m still pissed that he got rid of Jillian last week. But last night’s Tell All was just too good. Way to go straight for the jugular, Chris! Ask him if he made it to second base! Nice investigative reporting, dude. But really, if they subject us to even thirty more seconds of Trista and Ryan I may just pass out from sheer boredom. Who wants to see people with their kids? Ha!
Anyway, I apologize that I don’t have a review today. At least the show will be over in a week and I’ll get back to my own investigative reporting. Up this week: the Primo bath tub and Green Toys’ fabulous Tea Set.
I can’t believe I forgot to discuss the most important item of the week: The Bachelor.
Who watched it? More importantly, what the hell do you think Chris Harrison was talking about when he said the final segment was soooo intimate that they had to film it in private? Did that sentence make you want to take a shower to wash away the cringe-iness of the Bachelor. I bet it did.
Here are Jenny’s and my theories:
I have to say thank you to my sister, Gwen, Jenny M and AJ for writing such great reviews the past few weeks.
Sy has been sick, sick, sick since 2009 hit the pavement. Last week she was diagnosed with asthma, which is actually a total relief. We knew it was coming (her allergies, her genes…) so I am totally glad we figured it out. Now we have a treatment in place so we don’t have to keep rushing her to the doctor for that heinous nebulizer treatment. Why do they have to make that machine so LOUD? Anyway, I’ve been up around the clock for so many days that I just couldn’t come up with much that was witty, let alone intelligible. So thank you, friends, for writing for GHM! Besides that, the only real review I could muster up would be “My Favorite MDI (that’d be metered dose inhaler)” but really, any of our MDIs are my favorite right now because it means my child can breathe!
Every time I hear her cough that short, tight cough I get a little tingly with panic and do a mental (or physical) check to see where the inhalers are. I’m sending a shout-out to all the parents out there with seriously ill children. I honestly don’t know how you do it and I am sure there are many days that you don’t want to have to do it. Here we are with a very treatable issue and I still felt like I was going to throw up 24/7.
OK, off to go stare at my beautiful children and bask in their wonderful goofiness.
Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
The President-elect and Vice President-elect have launched a national organizing effort on the eve of their Inauguration to engage Americans in service, especially in our own communities. Check out this awesome site to help you find out how to serve in your own community. If you take pictures or have a story to tell about your community service, you can email it to usaservice.org.
What a great opportunity to teach your kids how to give back. We are starting out our day by donating some of Sy’s books to a local children’s book drive. It took some serious mental-arm-twisting to get Sy to pony up some of her books, but we got there. I look forward to getting my pint sized social justice warrior out there with me today.
I realize that it is “age appropriate” for my daughter to be afraid of many things. I can understand fear of the dark, fear of dogs who may steal lovies (that’d be you, next door neighbor golden retriever) and even a healthy fear of Friends Who Bite, but avocado pits? Three year olds mystify me.
I feel all Bill Cosby when I remark to others about the “darnedest thing that Sy just said.” But I can’t help it, I am her mother and I do find her ultimately charming (well, about 90% of the time, anyway). I was giving her a bath last night and she takes scrubbing herself with a wash cloth very seriously. She narrates as she washes, “OK Mom, gotta get my arm pits, my elbow pits, my knee pits and my toe pits.” I’ll never think of my toe pits as anything else. Because really, what else would you call them? The little valley in between each and every one of my toes?
What darnedest thing has your kid said to you this week?
Speaking of Survivor, I got this forward today and it made me chuckle. After the jump.
Happy New Year!
My mood was peppered with optimism when I awoke. Perhaps it was because I got four hours of sleep In A Row. Thank you, children of mine, thank you. Amazing how rose-colored my glasses can be when I have some solid shut eye. Of course after that four hour stretch, all bets were off in this house of teething and plague-dom, but still, I am grateful.
Our new year started off with homemade apple yogurt pancakes and a good stretch of Rose Parade watching, a family tradition. Well, not the apple yogurt pancake part. Apple yogurt was all we had and let’s be clear, I am by no means recommending it. SWEET stuff, that apple yogurt.
Oh, I bet you all really want an Onion Update!
Hey Everyone!
We are in vacation mode over here, so posts will be sporadic until the New Year.
Happy Holidays and we hope you enjoy the season.
Love from all of us at GHM!
There are only 52 days left until the new mandatory toy compliance certification is required. That’s bad news for a lot of small toymakers out there who will not be able to afford the new testing. Selecta, one of my favorite brands, has already decided to stop importing toys into the US as of January 1. I am so disappointed.
Read over at the Handmade Toy Alliance re: Changes needed to the Consumer Product Improvement Act (CPSIA) to Save Handmade Toys in the USA.
OOH, look what Jenny just read - the Bratz will be no more! Go grab Ken and party on, Barbie; 2009 is allll yours.
